Monday, April 19, 2010

Observations: Teenage Mutant Ninja Whores

Nothing I'm about to say is fact and is meant to be taken lightly. I don't have my PHD in psychology, so everything is merely opinion. I suggest you laugh at my absurdities.

Somewhere in my life I remember being taught that humans (and most creatures) were engineered to breed with the best of the best from their species. This would mean the best looking and physically fit male would boink with the most attractive and symmetrically-faced female; or something to that effect. I'm 26-years-old and definitely not ready to be a parent just yet, however, many teenagers have been thrust into adulthood by becoming parents. Teenagers have unprotected sex and the byproduct, surprise-surprise, is a child they're not ready for.

I'm alright with that because it's their mistake to make, but I've noticed more and more that quite a few of these young-parents share something in common. It sounds pretty shallow of me to say what I'm about to say, but it's true. I believe we've reversed our predisposed way of reproducing by taking any willing participant, no matter how unattractive they are, and humping with it. We've essentially lowered the bar, allowing people who probably wouldn't have reproduced hundreds of year ago the privilege to do so. Everyone is equal these days, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I find myself laughing at how things have changed.

Sex is pleasurable and most horny males would hump anything that has a hole. It doesn't seem to matter anymore. Women who lack the looks often have low self-esteem. These poor souls crave the attention their given and become easy prey. A male who knows how to play the game can easily play off that, getting what he wants. I'm sure this has happened for centuries, but ugly people were most likely poor back in the day. They probably had trouble surviving from day-to-day and ended up dying from something so trivial, which stopped the ugliness in it's tracks.

Today it's the complete opposite. Most people can afford a decent life (Unless they live in a third world country, but that's another issue entirely). I honestly wish all this wasn't so, but it makes sense to me. Because of this, I'm scared straight of having my children turn out the way so many of our youth have. I don't want my kids having low self-esteem or becoming a sexual predator. How do you prevent such a thing from even happening anyway? I'll have to bring back the chastity belt.

Final Thought:
I hope my idea of a future where ugly people breed even uglier doesn't happen. We will devolve into a hideous race of inbreed mutants, forced into the sewers of society to live out our lives as crime fighters who enjoy pizza. What a world that would be. A world of heroes fighting other heroes, all for the right to lay claim to the last remaining Pizza Hut.

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